What do you guys think of this chapter for a story?

red hair yellow dress image

Echo

My friend is currently trying to write a 100 day prompt and this quote was the inspiration: "I don't know what I'd do without you, I don't know where I'd be, you're not just another boy, your everything to me." Do you guys like it? I'm not really much of a critic, and I'm overly sweet when it comes to this stuff.

X

"Mama! Papa!"

Aden opened his eyes slowly, sitting up a bit. He looked down at the sleeping figure, who was now snuggled against his chest. Smiling he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Whispering, "I'll get this one babe."

Getting up, he walked over to a small crib which held a small strawberry blonde child. Aden smiled, at the child, picking her up. "What are you doing up, Lacey-Bell?"

"Hungwy Dada." She said innocently, reaching up to grab her father's striking red hair. Aden kissed her hand, as she laughed. Slowly making his way to a small concrete slab, he sat the child down and turned around to grab a slightly dirty bottle. Opening a small refrigerator he poured some slightly spoiled milk. He put the bottle in her mouth and she sucked on it greedily. Aden smiled, kissing Lacey's head softly.

It was quiet for a few minutes, well until Lacey stopped drinking and wanted to be put down. Quietly walking back over to the crib, he made his way to the bed. Sitting on it, he reached at the still sound asleep woman and brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. The girl moaned, opening her icy blue eyes.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Aden smiled.

Colleen smiled slightly, pulling the threadbare blanket over her head. "Go away, Aden.. Too tired.." Aden laughed, slipping the blanket off of her. Colleen mumbled a few curses, before turning her back to her husband.

Laying down, he wrapped his arm around her waist. He leaned in kissing the back of her head. Colleen blushed, turning around. She kissed his lips briefly, before leaning back and hiding her face in his chest. Blushing she muttered, "Learn to wear a shirt.."

He laughed, running a hand through his bright red hair. Colleen bit back a curse, kissing his lips before getting up and throwing off her shirt. Aden grinned, hoping they would do what he wanted to do. She raised an eyebrow at her husband, as she began to undress more. "Aden get dressed."

"Why?" Aden groaned. Colleen rolled her eyes, slipping a soft yellow dress on.

"Mama? Papa?" Lacey mumbled from her crib, grabbing the bars on her crib. Smiling, Colleen walked over to her child, and picked her up. Lacey smiled at her mother, reaching for her mother's sun-kissed hair. She kissed the child's forehead, getting a laugh from her.

"Good morning, my little Lacey-Bell." Colleen said sweetly. Aden got up, and walked over to Colleen and Lacey, wrapping his muscles around Colleen, kissing the side of her head. The girl turned around, clutching Lacey closer. "Not in front of the baby, Aden."

Frowning, he dropped his arms and backed away from the duo. "Like I said, Aden get dressed." Aden sighed, going over to a small closet and pulled out a gray shirt.

Answer
Honestly, I very much enjoyed it, it was sweet. But, you did turn me off a little by starting with dialog, I just don't like it when writers do that (it's a personal preference). Also, try rewording and editing so it can sound smoother then it is. Other then that it's fine. Overall I'd say it's heart-warming and cute, though. :)

Good luck!

What colour clothes should I wear with RED HAIR?

MissAussie

I have recently dyed my hair red from darkest brown and found alot of my clothes don't suit anymore :/ what are colours to avoid with red hair and what colors will compliment it? Looking for shirts and dresses mainly. Thankyou.

Answer
Colors to AVOID with red hair are red or reddish-pink tops, as they blend with your hair and look weird. Plum and dark colors need to be avoided as much as possible, too. ESPECIALLY GREEN AND YELLOW! With green, you'll look like an akward Christmas ornament, and with yellow, you'll look like Ronald Mc Donald. GOOD colors to go with your new hair, are pale, pearl, salmon, etc. (Basically, dainty, light shades of pink), baby, sky, and very light shades of blue. Violet or very, very pale shades of purple would look nice as accesories. And if you want to wear jeans, washed, distressed jeans will be a good choice.
BTW, I admire that you dyed your hair a unique color. I love people who aren't afraid to express their individuality.

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Title Post: What do you guys think of this chapter for a story?
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